Still Life With Grapefruit, Cabbage Soup, and Light 'n Healthy Orange Juice

As Cezanne once proclaimed, "with an apple I wish to astonish Paris", I proclaim that with a head of cabbage I hope to astonish the menfolk. And there you have it, this potato-chomping, gummi-popping, root-beer-swilling gal has put herself on the big D. When D just means a healthy way of living, a less sedentary lifestyle. Watching Golden Girl re-runs at the gym instead of the couch with one hand in the buttered popcorn bowl and an elastic waistband.

This last year has been, well, kind of sucky. When sucky isn't a giant lollipop and good ships and all that. I know. I said that about the year before. Well, don't they say that when you hit 35, it's all downhill? When downhill doesn't involve Utah powder and groomed ski trails. But the point is, I have spent most of 2007 flat on my back. When on my back doesn't entail my hands tied to the bedposts in Missoni scarves and a boom-chick-a-boom soundtrack.

Anyway, it's not so much a D---, just a healthier way of living - a more toned bod, better posture - a better spirit, a better outlook. I am getting back in touch with the artsy-fartsy me. I am sewing L's on all my shirts, using calligraphy in all my correspondences, making my own loose teas, sewing baby booties for all my friends' babies. Or. But I will paint that big canvas for my bedroom. I will be more Green. Then, maybe, I will start that children's book I want to write, where Slow Pie, the one-toothed cat gets into all kinds of shenanigans.

Do I sound too hippy-dippy? (I'm sorry, that is what happens when you go to church on Christmas day, when you haven't been in at least 3-4 years, and find out that the priest's dog is part of the Mass now. A sign to finally make Tom Ford a reality (except his name is going to be Hugo)? Or a sign that God is Dog (or Dog is God)? Play that on 33 1/3 rpm backwards, Satanic backmaskers.)

You see, Cezanne's still lifes weren't about the bulbous fruit as the object of the art. But their relation to - and place in- the space they occupy - draped cloths, jutting corners of the table tops, pitchers (or ewers, you crossworders) and background planes - as parts of a whole. And how the light bounces around and illuminates.

Mind, body, and spirit.

Honk if you love Dog.