Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Ode to Baggage

Baggage. We all have it.

Some of us carry it in a fanny pack with a tube of lip gloss.
While others have the 12-piece Samsonite tourister collection,
filled with all your carry on needs: Self-doubt, distrust, insecurity, jealousy.

Some paid full price.
Some clipped a coupon for it.
While others won it on Wheel of Fortune,
maybe back when you got to "shop the room."
(When you could ask Pat Sajak, your shopping companion,
if this "baggage" makes my butt too big.)

Some store their Baggage on the Top Shelf.
Some stash it Under the Bed
(or in the closet with the Definitive Tom Cruise collection).

Some have wheels and can easily trudge along beside you wherever you go.
Why not? It's so easily portable!
Would you like to see my baggage?
Would you like to borrow my baggage?

Some have the brightly-colored ribbon attached to it.
You don't want to mistake your baggage for someone else's.
No, you probably have enough already.

Some have logo-emblazoned luggage,
as if to say, "I'm proud of my baggage."

Some pass it down through the family.
(I'm sure Wills have been contested.)
"I want that baggage."
"I'm not taking that baggage."

But one things is for certain,
With age comes more baggage.

Monday, May 10, 2010


When fore! is not a shout from someone in plaid pants, waving white gloved jazz hands; nor an album by Huey Lewis featuring the memorable hit “Hip to Be Square” - when we know Huey wasn’t hip, because if he was he would have spelt it “Hip 2 B SQR.” Patrick Bateman did call it a masterpiece in American Psycho.

When fore! is a shout out to you dear jiminy reader crickets. I’m not blasting off golf clubs and I haven’t jumped the karaoke circuit designated nirvana. While we are on the subject of golf, no, I have not joined the Tiger brothel. It’s been five years and you’ve been through some of it but over the last few years not much of it.

While I like to stamp my foot and brat, "it's all about me," I finally feel like I'm even closer to that moment when I am actually the center of attention (the star of my own life) and everyone is cheering...

More to come...