Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Out And About This Weekend: Conversations

Two girls driving out of the city at 1 pm on a Friday afternoon. One girl thirsty so she pulls up to a little street corner hot dog stand on L Street. Let's call it a drive-up/drive-thru hot dog stand because there is no time for the actual getting out of the car and walking around to the front of the stand.
Mav, to anyone who will listen: "Hey, can you get me a diet coke from there?"
Stranger, obliging: "Uh, yeah, sure."
Boa: "You know that isn't a drive-thru."
Mav: "Well, it is now."

Two girls speeding down 301 in a rocket ship of a car, being pursued by Big Truck. Big Truck is driven by a young man who keeps passing the girls, flashing pearly whites, making googly eyes. One girl can not be bothered as she is multi-tasking with the Blackberry and the texting, you know, conducting business. The other girl is giggling away, then dismayed at what could possibly be a gun rack on that Big Truck. The girls are, afterall, in the middle of a cornfield.
Guy in Big Truck, getting nervy with the attempts at conversations with the next car on a highway, mouthing through the car windows, which are - uh, not open: "Where are you from?"
The girls, taken off guard, mouth back: "What?"

Guy in Big Truck, mouthing more precisely: "Where. Are. You. From."

Mav: "Let's do the tequila and ice again."
Boa: "Good call."
Goose, back home: "Girls, I hope Billy Bob has to carry you home tonight."

Boa and Mav: "Hey Sundown. We just bought margarita fixings!"
Sundown: "OK. You talked me into the 3 bloody mary's, So Co shot, and 2 beers before noon last Sunday. So here we go again." (takes sip) "Yep, that's strong."
Boa and Mav: "Who are we kidding? Why even buy the margarita mix anymore?"
A bottle of tequila later, and only less than an hour later, Sundown pleads: "Girls you're killing me."

Mav: "Where you been, Brad?"
Brad Pitt In Disguise: "The name's Joe."
Mav: "Where you been, Brad? We've missed you. You are an icon and we look for you every weekend."
BPID: "I've been in LA, baby."
Mav: "What were you doing in LA?"
BPID: "Porn."
Mav: "Porn, huh?"
BPID: "Yeah, apparently I'm really good at sex."

Boa: "Mav, next time get the name of his movie(s). I want to host a Joe Porn Movie night."


Boa and Mav: "Rule number 76. No excuses. Play like a champion."
Boy: "Sweet. Girls who quote Wedding Crashers."
Boa and Mav: "Can I use your guys' phone?...I don't feel very good."
Boy: "Napolean Dynamite too?"

Boa, modeling her new Paul Frank underwear with the skull and crossbones on the rear: "Alright, if you want a picture of me for your phone's photo ID, now's the time. Take a picture of my ass in these."
Mav, lazing in bed, hungover, drunk, essentially - immobile, slurs in her best NY accent: "Get over here if you want me to take a picture of your ass!"

Richie Rich: "So how was last night?"
Mav: "Well, let me put it this way. It's 11 AM. Boa, who never sleeps, is still asleep."

Boa: "Do you remember what he looked like? He had Billy Idol hair, right? Hmm, a young Billy Idol. He sang me Depeche Mode. That's the last I remember. Can you atleast tell me what he was wearing?"
Mav: "White shirt. Khakis. Flip flops."
Boa: "Hmm. The Standard Uniform. Is that good?"

Boa: "Gross. There is a Ronald McDonald hair in my black beans."

Boa and Mav: "Wha--Is that a teddy bear driving that tractor?"

In the cornfield, even the farmers have a sense of humor.

Mav, pulling over to the front stoop that sells a basket of squash for 25 cents every Sunday afternoon: "Give me your best squash."
Little girl, as salesperson and phone gabber - you know, conducting business - hands over the smallest one.
Mav: "No, give me that big one. And throw some tomatoes in there too."
Little girl, still chatting on phone while rummaging through the basket for the best squash, one ear on Mav's directions, the other glued to the phone, exhibiting her best multi-tasking skills at the age of 8.
Boa: "How scary is that? A tiny Mav-in-the-making."


An hour later, Mav on the Bay Bridge sending a text message. Oh, and driving.
Boa: "Hey! Can't you wait until we are off the bridge to resume the multi-tasking? Atleast?"

7 comments:

mav said...

Boa....Your Blog Rules...you haven't lost a thing!

Morgan said...

Oh, I don't know, your liver might have something to say about that soon...

goose said...

Loved it stepchild!

amy D. said...

What Depeche Mode song were you serenaded with???

Original Me said...

uh, Black Celebration? ha ha

eddhuron2081 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Morgan said...

Wow-you've been spam commented...

I have always had an interest in the forest-timber industry.