Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Do I Have To Go On Another Date?

Indications that you are so OVER IT:

--You eat a big greasy hamburger and french fries from five guys followed up by a candy bar and root beer the night before the date. [Normal practice: You hit the gym and feast on carrot sticks and yogurt to fit in your skinny clothes.]

--You don't wash your hair the day of and you actually contemplate dying it with that semi-permanent dye you got over the weekend. [Normal practice: You NEVER experiment with hair color! And you wash your hair with the $20 Frederik Fekkai apple cider shampoo.]

--You wear an outfit you don't particularly like: the pants are baggy, the shoes matronly, and the top too frou frou. [Normal practice: You buy something new.]

--You don't use a Whitestrip. In fact, you don't even brush your teeth before you leave the office. [Normal practice: Multiple whitestrips! And brush your teeth, dirty mouth.]

--You wear your highest heels - even though they pinch your feet - knowing he is 5'9" - which means you will be taller tonight. [Normal practice: Wear the cute leopard print ballet-like shoes that you have been wearing a lot lately because the ballet and pilates is paying off.]

--You plot how you are going to work into the conversation your distaste for the gym and all things outdoors, and your love of five guys knowing that he is a serious gym rat, camper, and self-proclaimed veggie lover. [Normal practice: Would tell him about the one time that I did go camping and it wasn't so bad after all. I still would ask him if we could hire out someone to build the fire.]

--You contemplate how you are going to get home in time to see American Idol. [Normal practice: Fuck AI!]

--You might curse online dating. [Normal practice: Endorse it - tell him about the friends you have made from it and the friends who have married.]

Essentially I plan on being my own little Debbie Downer.

Edited to add: Shit, I just flat-ironed my hair and put a bobby pin in the left side - code for: pulling out the big guns. If only I had time to go buy a new outfit!! (Some things will never change around here.)

3 comments:

Morgan said...

So...outcome?

The Bear said...

We want info!

Virginia Belle said...

you have no idea how much i can relate to this post right now. i think i might use a link to it in my next post.