Try This Red Pepper On For Size

I went to lunch the other day with a very polite British chap. And let me just say - he is a Quiet Talker. I was straining to hear every word out of his mouth. In fact, he was so quiet that apparently at some point during the meal the waitress dropped a fork down his back. I'm guessing. And when this happened, he never exhibited any kind of emotion of the ah-fork-spiraling-down-my-back kind. He never even flinched. So I never knew that a forkful of food somersaulted down his back. Because if he would have let me known - let someone known - we could have avoided this:

On the walk back to the office, SEVERAL people pointed out to him that he had a big red pepper stuck to his back. And he did! It was the length of a finger. So he had a red pepper finger hanging out on the back of his solid light-colored shirt. And when you see a food particle of this size lounging backside you crack up silly - almost to the point of Uncontrollable Bladder. Because the people pointing it out - who mean well - are laughing too. Then when you finally control the laughter, somebody new points out the mark left by the red pepper finger. It's a blood red stain on your solid light-colored shirt now. You have people ask you if you are bleeding. Because nobody considers for a moment that maybe you just had a red pepper finger stuck to your back. Your front, maybe, but your back, no. The laughter starts all over and the Inside Joke is understood by all those on the walk back to the office.

"Hey! It's the Red Pepper Shirt Guy!"

Needless to say, my sides were in stitches each and every time someone new pointed out the stain. They had no shame. I had no shame. At the street corner, on the sidewalk. The charitable inquiry of do-you-know-that-is-there, seemed to justify the Laughing At Other's Bad Luck. See? The laughing was contagious. Poor chap. But through it all, the poor chap was laughing too. Because what else can you do?

So, friends, when the waitress drops a forkful of food down your back, speak UP, because those people on the street will not be shy about pointing out the food stuck to your back. Or laughing at you. Because Red Pepper is NOT the new Black.