Wednesday, July 26, 2006

When Books Attack

Is it wrong that I wanted a book to fall on someone's head today?

It's like the waitress or chef who spits in your food ("the secret ingredient") or the mechanic who doesn't really give you an oil change ("See ya in 3 months for that new engine you are going to need."). Well, when you are a librarian, the equivalent is dropping books a la an "oops, darn slippery book!"

Today I took it so far as to ponder: Should the foot or the head be the target?

Well, since she was sitting down underneath me while I leaned against her and around her just to get to the books while she sat there and watched me take down eight very thick and heavy looseleaf binders one at a time, not once offering, "Let me help you with those," or even, you know, moving; well, I'd aim for the head in that case.

If I was that kind of person.

But sometimes I just live in my head and this is how it played out there:

Me: Here are your eight very big binders, all updated.
Her: Hmmph. [Proceeds to scoot chair over a smidgen and open up the overhead cabinet where she motions. Words don't come easily to this person.]
Me: [struggles with books...heavy books....high to reach up here...uh-oh, oh-no, I can't catch that is falling....falling....SPLAT]
Me: Did I say oops, because I meant to?
Her Head: OWWWWIEEE....
Me: Yeah, sorry about that. Occupational hazard.
Her, stars floating around her head in a halo: No, I am the one that is sorry. I should have helped you. Instead I sat here like an idiot while you labored just so I can have my very own books. Heaven forbid I use the library. We still have one of those? And you were doing me a favor and I just sat here. I won't do that again. Books hurt!
Me: You know, that is what everyone keeps saying.

What's your occupation ammo?


Matt Cooper said...

I love your Blog, very interesting!!
My name is Phil W Little and
I’m the author of Hostile Intent and Hell In a Briefcase
You are more than welcome to visit my page.

Detective Matt

Virginia Belle said...

you know i can relate to this SO much more than any of your other readers.

did you read my "18 things a librarian is not" post? you must.

our highlights this week: a woman with blue lipliner. answering the same question 500 times (a big assignment was due today). various people who think the rules don't apply to them.

TGIF, right?