When To Turn Down A Beer
If you are on a very crowded deck, on a Saturday night, singing along to a band, where girls walk around with buckets of beer, and you happen to be holding an empty coosie when some guy comes up behind you and first asks you your name and then asks if you would like a beer, and you say, yes....what do you owe the guy?
What if he looked like he swallowed a small child? He gave new meaning to beer gut is what I'm saying.
Well if you are me, you endure him tapping your ass for about 4 songs, which was enough time to finish the beer. And then you move, because you realize you can afford the $4 beer without a Small Child Eater slapping your ass.
What To Do When You Don't Know The Words
Karaoke finds me. And it is getting a little scary. I don't even like singing that much. But the world is strange these days. Dare I say, things are falling into place? No, I didn't say that. God, please take that off the record. Woe is me, hail mary, I'm deeply indebted to you.
This weekend at the beach, there were instruments and microphones and lots of music and a makeshift stage in the little friendly house out front. At 1 AM Mav and I took to the stage. All night long until 4AM.
So when you find yourself not remembering the words, because, oh, it's late and you should be in bed and not opening a miller lite at 3 AM, insert "mexican hat" EVERYWHERE in song.
Since you been gone
You got a mexican hat, yeah-yeah
I'm in over my head
With a mexican hat
Going downtown in a mexican hat
Girls just wanna have fun
Oh, girls in a mexican hat just wanna have fun
Don't wanna be an american idiot
(in a mexican hat)
You get the picture.
And so when someone asks you the next day how the Mexican Hat song goes, you can answer: "Like every song you have ever heard before!"