Because She Needs To Be Put In Check (And Wears A Size 9)

Guess what? I'm imposing a Boy Talk Moratorium. You might be asking, will she have anything else to talk about? I can always talk about shoes, clothes, makeup, the bathroom, phobias, pet peeves, or the crazy little things I do. Check the archives! You might still be bored.

But y'all will agree on this: Too many boy crazy posts lately! Grow up!

"OK."

What has become of me? You'd think I retrograded back to the age of 14 when I was realizing boys but not allowed to go on dates yet. Because 20 years later? My world is very similar. I am realizing boys for the first time in like six years after being marooned in Non-Commital, Manic-Depressive, Drunk-In-A-Bad-Way, Let-Me-Dump-You-For-Ex-Girlfriend-Who-Looks-45-And-Has-Four-Kids-And-Needs-Me-To-Be-A-Provider-And-She's Toothless-And-Shaped-Like-A-Bunny-Rabbit Guyville. So now I am back in the real world and, lo and behold, the guys are everywhere. Look around you! They are ringing me up in the coffee shop. They are taking my bags at the hotel. They are on the metro. They are in my building. They are at the beach. They are in my drink. It's madness! And it has to stop.

Lest you think I am a slut...because I am so not. And that is the truth. When all is said and done, I really can't take credit for any notches in the bedpost. I think that "holding out" makes them respect me and piques their interest. Well, apparently not. What is the secret? I have done the hard-to-get. I have done the be-yourself. I have done the easy-breezy. I have done the what-the-hell. All? Not working. Should I do Ho? Should I do Stalker?

No, mom, not to worry, I won't go that route.

This weekend - even at the beach - I am on VACATION. No talk of any Very Cute Boys. I will not "meet" anybody. I will not flirt with anybody. I certainly will not kiss anybody. And I most definitely will not be passing out my phone number.

The Internet has permission to kick my ass if I come back in love again, ranting about some VCB* and oh-my-gosh how awesome is this one. This girl is toughening up. Stone cold it is.

So Future Husband Or Guy Who Is Going To Love Me Forever And Ever: You need an icepick to crack me open. Sorry to make you work so hard but these things do not come easy. Trust me, I will be worth it.

So what cleaned my clock? A picture from the wedding. In this recent group of photos there were various pictures of me and my "wedding date" - or the latest VCB from last weekend - hugging and posing. And looking very sweet together if I must say so. But the very last picture taken on this digital "roll" of 98 pictures is me, sitting on a barstool in my "princess" dress and my hair all wedding-ized. My shoe had fallen off and "my wedding date" bent down on one knee and put my shoe on my foot ever so delicately. Then he kissed my foot. My friend snapped this moment and wrote this caption to go with the photo,

"Prince Charming slides the glass slipper on Cinderella's foot."

That, my VCBs, is all I am looking for. Nothing more. Nothing less.

*Very Cute Boy, duh