Occurrence: I got dumped by my wedding date.
My reaction: Wow! This dating thing is fun!
Occurrence: I got dumped because he would rather see his tailor.
My reaction: Yes, friends who warned me, the signs are pointing to Gayville.
Occurrence: So now I have no wedding date.
My reaction: *blink* *rubs eyes*
Occurrence: EVERYONE else has a date.
My reaction: OK, normally don't care. Very independent, never bring date just to bring date. But...everyone but me? Wah.
Wait. Let me repeat this for my own understanding. I just got dumped - via email - by a guy who - emphatically (as in no hesitation with the yes) - agreed to go with me, who knows the bride and groom, and who assured me - when I asked if he needed to check his schedule before he so "emphatically" agreed - that he was indeed free the whole weekend and was looking forward to it, especially the overnight aspect because we had not taken our "relationship" that far yet. And the Dump Email came after not hearing from him for 2 weeks in which I finally sent him a Hello Email and his reply was not "hello back" but Dump. What's with The Mean? Was he ever going to tell me?
My real reaction: Asshole! Yes, OK, not that into me. Got that. He's not flaky anymore, he's transparant. Fine. But he could have handled the let down quite differently. At the very least a "sorry, but..." would have probably been sufficient. Not the blunt, "Can't go, going to the tailor in NYC now. Won't be back in time. Period." So, I...delete his contact information from any recording of it, contemplate sending an "oh, thanks a lot email in response" but decide to just ignore and not respond and write him off. Sometimes silence is the loudest response. And now moving on, dateless.
So, a plea!
One dateless, very pretty (I have professionals working on me that day who plan on making me pretty), smart (or I can pretend to be), and sassy (I will probably fall at some point in the evening) girl in a yellow dress SEEKING a flake-free, date-free, gay-free, hilarious and unassumingly handsome man (who will pick me up when I do fall, by the way, or fall down with me) to be Wedding Date. And can you wear a pink shirt with your suit? I kind of have a thing for pink button-down shirts. We will drink, dance, and maybe sing. Surely, we will laugh a lot?
I've seen movies about this kind of thing. On Lifetime and in the theaters. It works for them.
Mom, you'd be proud of me pimping myself on the 'net.