Missing from Potunkville, USA:
Slightly full-figured man in shiny red man panties, commonly referred to as Speedos, with a ring of dip, probably Skoal, tucked in the left butt cheek. Last seen carousing a popular Delaware beach, carefully treading his way through innocent sunbathers. If you have seen this man, please call 1-800-SO-PCKTS* to have him removed from the premises. His back pocket is missing him and we would like to reunite them as soon as possible.
*Sew Pockets, dba SOPCKTS, is engaged in the unique business of clothing manufacturing and fashion therapy. Our staff will work with the subject to ensure he gets a pocket that fits his vacationing lifestyle. We might fashion his current Wrangler square on his Speedos, or we may delicately guide him towards a longer syle of swim trunk, like, say, a board short that coincidently already has the pockets attached. Either way, we will work to educate him on the utility of a pocket. We at SOPCKTS understand that no man should have to go very long without a can of dip in his back pocket, even when at the beach.