Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Contents Of My Little Black Book

(Thought I was going to say "backpack", Mav?)

I found this little gem in the bottom of one of my 63 purses. And boy did it bring back memories. It is actually a little black/pink notepad that I scribbled in on a few occasions. It starts around Memorial Day 2004 up through some beach moments this past summer when I started to jot down things we found funny but could never remember. I didn't realize I started a little "drunk stenographer business" this summer as I interviewed Mav or Goose for "items of interest." I got a chuckle out of it as I took a walk down memory lane. So why not publish it?

Drunk Girl Bar Tablet, Original Words and Illustrations by Boa and Friends

Page 1.

A drawing of a cross-type design with the word, independence, coarsely written in it. I think it was an idea for a tattoo. Good thing I didn't follow through with it because according to my drawing - if that is what I had in mind for the tattoo artist to use as reference - I could be walking around with the word "indepence" inked somewhere on my body.

Page 2.

(Dated 10/9/04)

Dear Diary, Today I went to [name of bar] and got drunk.

Page 3.

A self-portrait of my "new haircut" which was the little chin length bob. yuk.

Page 4.

A primitive drawing of a big round circle with a face drawn in it, titled, "Justin." (Hee! Those of you who know J will find the charicature right on.)

Page 5.

Another charicature of my other friend, represented as a big hulking man with muscles, titled, "Bruce Almighty."

Page 6.

The Super Secret Shortcut Directions down to the beach. I ended up amending what was written down for me with - what I felt were - more accurate directions. See, I am a visual person.

Right on 405 became... Right at The Shack
Left on 304... Left in The Middle Of Nowhere

[The rest of these pages I am copying in its true form.]

Page 7.

stepped on girl-mad
so I stepped on her again
Ask 280-lb guy to help me
Laying down
"Baby Doll Get up"
Drives the Wilmington White Trash Truck
He carried her
slimey legs - skirt around waist
Pizza - Mav passed out
Ate Goose's crust

Page 8.

ice cream cones
and teddy grahams

Page 9.

Bizarro Mav World
Getting lost - cops - state fair - cow breaking loose
Dirk Digler - saw "it"
chicken ass whooping
chicken in a holster
thumbing it

Page 10.

hot dog vendor - drive-thru
changing in car (honk, honk)

And there you have it. The first 10 pages of a drunk girl's Diary. I think it is beautiful in all its randomness. Me thinks I will resume to note-taking when moments beg of it. And so if I could do page 11 after the fact, this is what it would say:

Page 11.

Driveby - on the floor
Old man likes Mav
People in Gaithersburg probably prefer carpet
Tear in my beer
Chopped liver - Massage!
Really, really fat girl dancing on bar
We too
Woo hoos
Can't drink on bar - have to be off bar - leave Mav
You are a city girl


Mav said...

I am still cracking up at the very first line. My entire office thinks I'm crazy!!! I had forgotten about the time I passed out, woke up & ate the crust. We are demented people, you know this right??

Original Me said...

yes, but never a dull moment, Mav!