Friday, March 03, 2006

Unsettled

I have been busy. Are you surprised? Because I'm not all crazy blabbing about it. I take two turns (usually) the I'm-in-love-y'all or the woe-is-me one. Guess what? I'm neither right now. I wasn't kidding when I said I was tired. I have now reached the point of cynical. I just don't care anymore and there is not one guy I am excited about anymore. I go on a date now and just shrug my shoulders.

Case in point: I went out (finally) with The Flirt the other night. No surprise we had one of those rock star dates that pretty much go all night. He was much more attractive in person than his pictures led me to believe. He really has everything going for him. He's cute, stylish, professional (and likes his job), into music, plays the guitar, great sense of humor, entertaining, and there is a New Orleans connection. Historical posts indicate that I should be all ga-ga. But, I'm not. Will we go out again? He wants to and we have had many email conversations since the date but I really don't care if it doesn't come to fruition. In fact, I am not even sure if I do want a second date to crystallize.

I can't place this feeling I have. Is it cynicism I have reached? Or is it a matter of "chemistry?"

Mav and I have had numerous discussions on it. She even blogged about it. Did I really have "chemistry" with Johnny Jerkface (FKA Peter Pan)? Because I was really attracted to him. My friends and family reading right now are cringing because they can't stomach him. He wasn't really cute (and his actions now make him on par with Elephant Man). Was I content on "settling" for him? Was that it really?

I thought that me and the Indie Rock Attorney (IRA) had "chemistry." But apparently he sees otherwise because we have exchanged three emails since that date and we planned on going out this week sometime (at least I thought that was what he meant when he asked, "Would you like to go out one night next week?") but, alas, he was never heard from again. Was I simply just "crushing?"

Now there is The (Smart) Flirt. He is intrigueing. He is also a Pisces - which, to him, the world is a sea of fish - why settle for one. a Pisces asks. I still let him sing Air Supply to me. Yet, I'm not clamoring to see him again. Maybe because I know that when I do, he will swim back into the sea. Our witty email banter is kind of entertaining. He is a smart flirt indeed. Gosh, and thinking back on our date, we had plenty of "me too" moments. He loves me.

Then I just don't care what I say anymore. For example: There is another date next week - a first date with the Ancient Mariner. He first suggested talking on the phone. I emailed him back and told him I'd meet for a drink but I'm not a phone person and would prefer not to. He could very well be thinking, "What kind of social moron is she that she can't carry on a phone conversation with a stranger?" Um, I would respond with, "Read this." But he is fine with that. I think he was just trying to be polite. Some girls apparently prefer to talk on the phone first. How dare they.

And then there is the other guy who looked mildly decent. He likes Paul Frank and, y'all, I love the Paul Frank. But then he had to go and ruin any mild interest on my part with, quite possibly, one of my Top Three Questions I Hate To Hear From Prospective Dates. In no particular order:

1. Why aren't you married yet?
2. What do you like to do for fun?
3. What are you most passionate about?

He asked number 3. How do you answer that? First of all, read my fucking profile, you will find all your answer there. I have many passions. And if it is a passion, you better believe it is gong to be mentioned. Second, I don't believe in having one mother-of-all passion. That makes you closed-minded and possibly one-dimensional. It is like people that are only passionate about sports and they run the Iron Man and every marathon within a 600 mile radius and drink Creatine shakes and pump iron and flex muscles and east, sleep, breath sweat. That's an example. My passions run rampant. Again, I will tell the guy, "Read my profile again, dude."

Am I just skeptical now? Because I am now meeting The Smart Flirt for happy hour. Luckily Mav is chaperoning and under no circumstances am I allowed to go home with him. Because I don't want to go down that path. He's not my next boyfriend and I won't be the latest notch in his bedpost. I think happy hour banter and flirting is all I can stomach right now.

5 comments:

Morgan said...

I find that answering question #3 with a rousing: BEER (or alcoholic beverage of your choice) is the best idea. Why? Because you learn several things: First, whether or not they like booze. Second, whether or not they can take a joke (well sort of a joke). And third, if they run at that point? Better for you b/c they are obviously retarded and you would have spent countless dates explaining why you had to have that 3rd glass of wine...I mean, what is wrong with you? Are you a drunk or something? Must you have alcohol to have fun? All date downers,if you ask me. Not that you did :).

Ummm...did I mention I gave up beer for Lent. Yeah...not going so well. Have fun and no sleepovers!

Virginia Belle said...

hmmm...i have had this same train of thought myself. i totally understand your apathy and cynicism. just when i wanted to stand on top of a skyscraper and scream "No more! I can't take even one more bad date!" I met Repo. go figure.

and when i looked back on the men in my life, no matter how big or small of a role they played, chemistry/crushing/love came down to a very simple thing. regardless of how hot they were or how much we had in common or whether or not there was chemistry, it all had to do w/who was unobtainable.

if i was the unobtainable one, and he was constantly chasing me, i had little interest in the guy, no matter how well he treated me.

if i was doing the chasing, oh man, i was obsessed with him and convinced we were great together. it's the classic "you want what you can't have" theory.

so, to conclude, the happiest and healthiest relationships i've had involved give and take. sometimes i chase, sometimes i'm being pursued. it's nice to want and be wanted at the same time.

maybe this is the same for you?

and yes, people who don't read the profile are really annoying. that's like taking a test without studying for it, IMHO. how irritating is it that they can't even take 3 minutes to see what you are all about? if they can't put in that kind of effort, they can't be expected to put in any effort at all. next!

you are right about those questions. they stink. #1 is rude, #2 is stupid because everyone does pretty much the same stuff and #3 is a cheesy question. (your argument against this question is very good, btw.)

i have an aunt who is single. she got so tired of answering that "why aren't you married?" question that she decided to just stop answering it. literally. now she just sits there, silently, while the asker slowly realizes how rude they are and fumble around to dig themselves out of the hole they just dug. she says it's very entertaining. i'm going to use it as soon as people start asking me!

Original Me said...

That's awesome Virginia Belle - I might take a play out of your aunt's playbook!

and I think you hit the nail on the head - the key is to chase and be chased - that is how all my relationships have been, come to think of it. (They just happened to be unsuccessful for other reasons.)

Anne West said...

I'm totally with you...after my fiasco with Mr. Dream Date, I'm convinced I'll be single forever...but I keep trying...it's the stuff great blogs are made of...and I'll try again this Saturday. And I won't sleep with him either!

Mav said...

Hate dating...it sucks.