Ch. 1 On Getting Old
I had a milestone birthday. In fact, I am so old I am surprised AARP isn't knocking on my door yet. Honestly, it does bother me. Mostly because of the way people behave about age. Like I have this friend who just turned 33 but still tells everyone that he is 32. He even lied on his Match profile so that his age reflects 32. I wonder what he thinks about me being two years older? However, perhaps something will transpire to make me accept my age more gracefully. [Hint: That is the author's lazy attempt at foreshadowing...might there be an important plot development to come?]
So I thought it best to avoid AARP if they came a'knockin' so I celebrated for five days straight. Y'all I clearly was on a bender. It started with me taking the Flirt out on Wednesday. Yes, you heard me correctly, I took HIM out. Let's not talk about that yet. If at all. Not really sure at this point if he is going to make this book. [Might this appear in Chapter 3? Oooh, the plot development is hair-raising.] Then I third-wheeled it on Thursday with Mav and Count Chocula while we took in some wine at the wine bar and the "other" band at the ballroom. Swing dancing indeed. But there were big fat folded ponytails bopping around in my face and girls that can't dance and lots of short people. Then Friday was the best happy hour in my honor where people kept buying me champagne, martinis, shots, and the ubiquitous beer. How did I get home even? Then Saturday - I really can't remember anything after the 5 shots I did in the early evening. Again, how did I get home?
Turning 21 is so fun! I get to go to bars!
Ch. 2 On Growing Up
Title sarcasm? No. From the looks of Chapter 1, one might assume that I am not growing up by any means. But you would be wrong. Because in the midst of my 5-day birthday bender I just made the biggest transition to adulthood ever.
I bought a sweet little condo. Home ownership. This kid is growing up. Instead I'll be the one telling the "kids" at the party, "I got a big day tomorrow going to Home Depot maybe looking at countertops. Maybe Bed Bath & Beyond to get some pillows. World Market for an elephant. And Target for some shabby chic."
So this next month is jam-packed with all kinds of activities not to mention all the money poured into the home purchase right now so I am officially broke. I thought I was living paycheck to paycheck before. I am literally paycheck to paycheck for the next month and I am going to have to turn down all kinds of social invitations because I can't afford to pay for myself, let alone all my dates that love mooching off me. [That is some genuine plot development.]
Ch. 3 On Giving It Up
Double entendre. I gave it up and now I am giving it (him) up.
I am giving up dating for now. Flirt - finis. Too much going on to let even one disappointing, flakey, boundary-setting guy in the picture. Because who needs that?
I don't have time to think about how much the Flirt hurt my feelings on my birthday. I can't even think about the conversation with Yukkell and all the ways I still care for him. I don't even want to email all the potentials who are emailing me because all I can only think about are my Tiffany blue couch and coordinating funky chair I designed that will arrive at my doorstep in 2 whole months because I had to be all picky and not be happy with what the store had on hand. I am thinking about my glass crystal and wrought iron chandelier I am going to hang over the dining area. (And also wondering what handyman I know who can hang it for me.) I am thinking about the new faucets and glass door knobs and little accessories for my sweet little pad that will be all mine.
So my character development - what I have learned at the end of the day - is that my own place to call home is going to give me so much more than the average cheap and immature DC guy will.
And the moral of the story? I found out that what I have been looking for - which has always been a soft place to land at the end of the day - isn't going to be found in a man right now. It' s in what I can give myself. A place to call my own.