Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Is Heaven Any Sweeter Than Blue Jean?*

Because you can never have enough, I bought new blue jeans, an article of clothing one can never have enough of, am I right? Let's time travel through my closets of yore...

Exhibit A: Different pocket designs with different threads = Jordache! The pocket styling allowed you to have more than one pair and, although the same wash and cut, they would all be different. At least that is the argument I gave my parents, as I so fashion conscious in the 6th grade did not want to clash my sweater vest with the pocket design. I would be setting myself up for a few fashion citations so I may as well just jaywalk (in Jordache). Probably a real live argument I gave but since we lived in a cul de sac it was looking like I was destined for the fashion kind of citation because my parents could only get me one pair. But I wore my one and only pair a lot. Until one day, I got my pant leg caught on a nail and it put a pea-sized hole right in the shin area. You know grafitti slogans on my Jordache weren't far behind. I was now mistreating my Jordache. Then I became ashamed of them and would only wear them in my backyard.

Exhibit B: The two-toned trend. Those of you who didn't come of age in the 80's might have missed this one so insert your appropriate short-lived, what-was-I-thinking trend - like say acid-washed (a trend I avoided)? For me, the two-toned thing happend in junior high. So now my blue jeans were the equivalent of the business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back mullet. What you see coming, you ain't seeing going. Needless to say, they didn't match up with a whole lot (see above re. my insistence on matching the top to the pocket design) and thus my pair was reserved for special occasions where only a solid colored top would do. Like Fridays. For cruising the mall. And as is true with all trends, their place in my closet didn't last longer than Spring.

Exhibit C: The little red and white triangle. Yes, Guess. In high school, it was all about the triangle on the ass. They tapered at the leg and had little zippers on the bottom so - I don't know - you could get them up over your foot? While the hip gals were sporting the Guess, what were the boys doing? Pinching and rolling. Their jeans. At the ankles. Yup. What Tom Ford came up with that one?

Exhibit D: The old tried and true - the mother of all blue jeans - Levi's. This was college. Loved them. Lived in them. Bow down to the All Mighty. Levi's - Smuckers called and wants to preserve you.

Exhibit E: The 180 turn. Trading up to....Calvin Klein. Because they were going to suit my new I'm-a-professional lifestyle now. They were dark indigo and I would starch them. "Ain't nothing coming between me and my Calvins."

Which brings us to present day. Low-riding, hip-snuggin, long-legged, bell-flopping blue jeans. It's coming together now. All shapes, sizes, colors, washes. Different pocket designs, stitching, threads. Worn or crisp. Dress up. Dress down. Genius really. I'm in love. This current world of blue jeans is beautiful really, there is not just one brand and one trend that everyone is bandwagoning. And you can spend as much or as little as you want. And I am just not going to name names.

They are all Blue Jean. Let's wear them proud.

*the appropriate attribution: a la D. Bowie, of course

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