How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days: Have Your Friend Drunk Dial Him

That'll probably do it.

Last night, Mav and I discovered that sleeping in your clothes is not just for the beach house anymore. Neither is drunk dialing.

Too much wine. Mav showed up so that I could hem some of her pants, me being the resident seamstress. And to stitch up some pants where she ripped open a buttonhole - with scissors (!). So there is a slit that she can't button. I'll whipstitch it but it still won't be that pretty. That Mav.

So she shows up with a bottle. Of course. Payment. We polished that off in 20 minutes. Then we were hungry so we walked down the street in search of salads - not meatloaf. We even had to tell the hostess and the waiter to not let us - under any circumstances - order the meatloaf. It worked. We ate our BORING salads. Because it was no Salad Factory salad. So more bottles were consumed. And let me just tell you that wine is not Miller Lite.

Then the calling began.....

It started off innocent enough. Let's call Goose! Because...of course. Then we had to call a few other friends. We called the West Coast. We called the East Coast. We called beachhouse people. We called Richie Rich. We called Disco (?). We called BGA (yikes!). We called the friend of my ex-boyfriend so I could tell him about the socks I got for him at the White Sox game last weekend. They were free and he is the only White Sox fan I know. So I felt the need to let him know this.

And we called Mason. Um. Yeah. Mason - the guy I met at the beach two weeks ago from the "Safeway" house - who last I spoke to said that HE would call ME NEXT WEEK to set up a date. So, probably won't be hearing from him again? But let me explain. For my own understanding. Mason has a friend from the house who really took a shine to Mav. Last time I talked to Mason (the night before) he asked if Mav would be interested in him. I wasn't sure because I can't keep track of all her men. So over our salads and bottles of wine I tell Mav about the interested friend. Problem is neither of us can remember which guy he is talking about. Is it the Grill Master? So the call was from my phone but it was Mav leaving the message inquiring about the friend. I think she sounded coherent and the message was left at a decent hour - 9:30. It was the early part of our drunk dialing. So it wasn't really "me" "drunk dialing" him. But will he not see it this way? Worries. Have I screwed that one up before it even began?

Mav has her own dilemna of the what-kind-of-damage-was-done kind. She called BGA - her beach house crush. Problem is we have no recollection of this call which was most definitely made at some ungodly hour. What was said? Oh no.

Who knows when we went to bed. But Mav had a conference call at 8:30 and needed to wake up by 7:00 - she was in no shape to drive home and Mother Goose was getting drunk at her own house so she could not come pick up her daughter.

"Boa never sleeps." True. I set the alarm for....4 AM?

Mav kindly transcribed our conversation at 4 AM:

Boa: "Mav...its 7, do you have to get up?"
Mav: After surveying the still dark skies..."Its 4, so no."
Boa: "It is?"
Mav: "Yes, go back to sleep. Wake me at 7."
Boa: "Where's my phone...I need to see who we drunk dialed last night. (laughter) Oh my God....we called Mason! Yikes! And Disco! Why?!...who is 516..."
Mav: "That's my mom...I called my mom...(more laughter)...uhhh. Let me check my phone. Holy shit, I called BGA! (Laughing even harder) Well since I am up, I might as well check my e-mail, because I always get really important e-mails at 4 in the morning."
Boa: "Hee Hee. What did you say to Mason? Is he ever going to call again?"
Mav: "Probably not. (Busy Checking V.I. e-mails) Is Joel the GrillMaster?"
Boa: "I don't care if he calls or not. Do I? I wish we had the King's number (her circa labor day hook-up)"...More laughing
Mav & Boa: "Let's Call Goose!!!"
Mav: "I'll just e-mail her" More laughing.

So we woke - for the second time - at 7 AM in our clothes from the night before just like we do at the beach. It's all the same now when your week is becoming your weekend.

SERIOUSLY. DID I JUST SCARE MASON AWAY? That would suck because I kind of liked him.