Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Stick With The Program Because It Never Gets Old

It is summer at the Dew Drop Inn and we have settled into a "pattern." A flight pattern, if you will. The Top Gun theme is rampant and Top Gun speak just Never Gets Old. ("Iceman, you are holding on too tight." "I don't like you because you are dangerous." "...stopping in for a fly-by.") You get the picture. We have a Maverick and her best wingwoman, Goose. We have Sundown, Hollywood, Disco, Cougar, and Iceman. The DVD runs in the background. A Top Gun poster is displayed and there is a House Hat reminding us all that this house is Top Gun. The House Hat is not to be confused with the House Underwear...which is always "open 24 hours." And the house apparently is just that. Especially when yours truly AKA Boa is in the house because I have No Off Switch at the beach....except for this past weekend, when my little engine finally sputtered and took a nosedive before the others. Damn floaters in my drink. The cameraman got to document this and is selling the rights to Michael Moore to docu-drama this special event. Most likely NOT coming to a theater near you. It's just not controversial enough.

Most likely in our Top Gun flight path every single weekend...because it just Never Gets Old...

The Car Drive To And From The Beach. Any time you drive through one of those sleepy rusted towns on the way, somebody will always exclaim, "I'd shoot myself if I had to live here." "Me toos" echo like this is the first time any of us has ever uttered these words. It Never Gets Old. Boa will sometimes mention seeing somebody on the side of the road, maybe they are riding a bike, riding a donkey, or simply strolling....but nobody else ever sees this person. To Boa it is mystifying....to Mav and Goose it is just Crazyville. Especially when she hears the bagpipes.
["I stand by this!! There were bagpipes!! --Boa.]

Late Night Pizza. Sworn never to be eaten again. Until the next weekend and the next and the next when you just have to have that pizza. Mav has been known to pass out, smell pizza, get up, walk downstairs, grab two slices, place one on top of each other, inhale them, then resume to her passing out duties. The Three Gals have even taken a rickshaw two blocks to pick up the pizza. What with them being Destiny's Child and all they only get star treatment when in town.

An Unpajama Party. Pajamas are not necessary. Always wake up in last night's clothes so that you are ready to head out again. Not really. But you pretend. As you peel the sheets off, inhale the morning sun, the morning air, the morning coffee, jump out of bed - suddenly - and declare, "OK, I'm ready to go out!" That simply Never Gets Old.

Kicking It Back Ghetto-Style. The front stoop is the place to be peeps. Not the deck overlooking the water. Not the air-conditioned living room. Not the loft. The front cement stoop. Wheel out your cooler, set up your lawn chairs, grab your smokes. Ignore the Porsche Cayenne, Mercedes, and Disco's PT Cruiser that he drives to Baltimore to rent. Also, when you don't have cans, find paper bags to cozy the beer bottle. Or newspapers. You guessed it - it Never Gets Old.

Blowing Up Goose's Phone. Because when you are The Three Gals minus One you need to call that person. Periodically. Especially 2 o'clock in the AM. So you call Goose SEVEN TIMES in SEVEN MINUTES and leave her SEVEN MESSAGES. Then call Mav's many boyfriends who simultaneously call back at the same time. Then take Drunk Dialing to a whole new level and call everybody in the house who is either passed out already or just SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

Peeing In Public Places. Boa pees in parking lots. Mav pees in firehouses. Or in the ocean. Goose actually poses with a big smile when she is sitting on the toilet and Mav barges in to snap a photo. Probably won't be old anytime soon.

Doogie references. Friends in DC will call you and tell you that they just saw Doogie. And they mean it! He is everywhere now. Apparantly just last Friday he was in Woodley Park early on and then at the Waterfront late night. It's a celebrity phenomenon. Have you seen him?! So the Doogie sightings just Never Get Old.

Fu stories. As in, "Which little dog is Fu again?" Goose: "Oh, he's the one in the pink shirt." Or, "Look Fu can swim." Or, "Look Fu gets along with big dogs." Or, "Look at Fu turn his head away from the Crazy Old Lady as if to say, 'I don't know this woman.'" Or, "Think Fu can drive over the Bay Bridge?" Fu is a normal part of conversation....Never Gets Old.

Incessant Teasing of Boa. And her circa Labor Day boyfriend. [Will not! - Boa] Stay tuned...

And finally, this conversation Never Gets Old:

Mav: Sweeett.
Boa: To the left, to the left.
Mav: You know who's going to love this?
Boa: It never gets old.

Goose: Oh honey, that's a bottle.

Then the girls pull each other's hair. Because that? Never Gets Old.


Amy D. said...

Have you ever seen the movie Sleep with Me?? It came out sometime in the early 1990s-Eric Stoltz & Meg Tilley are in it. Anyway there's a scene with a cameo by Quentin Tarantino where he goes on this long theory about the latent homosexual theme in Top Gun. "You can ride my tail anytime" It's hil-fucking-larious! You all should watch it-if not the whole movie, but definitely that part at the party towards the end.
By the way, why do I love Eric Stoltz so much? I have never been into pale skin & redheads, but there's something about him that has made me see most of his movies. I loved him in Mad About You too (no, I broke up with you)Food for thought?

Original Me said...

I don't think I have seen that movie...but now must get a hold of it because the gay theme would be somewhat appropriate given that we teasingly call one housemember Big Gay Al...and Eric Stoltz - I love love too!!! There is something sexy about him...even in Mask! hee hee!

Charlie said...

Boa - just reading these blogs. I want to let you know I (Charlie) heard the bag pipes Sunday! They are alive!